Joanne has put together a nice selection of posts for the first installment of Unschooling Voices. Well done!

This news story is just weird.

A seven year old boy, while eating his (unidentified) lunch with a fork and spoon, was chastised for it. The school won’t apologize and I’m still trying to figure out what went on. The parents say he was single dout for eating in a traditional Filipino way.

It said an “educational intervention” on April 12 was “in no way aimed at the cultural practices of your community. It was very specifically linked to the way your son was ingesting his meal that day and in no way to the method or utensils used to bring his food to his mouth.” (emphasis mine)

So they don’t like how he ate? Je ne comprende pas.

This isn’t the first weird school story to come from Quebec.

Joanne from A Day in our Lives has taken over the CofU. The information page can be found here. Next Carnival is scheduled for July 1st, so go submit those posts!

And thanks to Joanne for taking up the torch and running with it.

You may have read this in my blog, but we were having computer issues. We found a place that sold the cord we needed. It might take us a day or two to iron out the rest of the details and logistics.

A cultural myth is something that our society believes to be true, like “work hard and you’ll get ahead” or “all children must go to school to be properly socialized”. The most interesting part of this to me, is that many people will continue to believe that things are true, when there is often mountains of direct evidence to the contrary.

Men can work hard all their lives, women can work themselves into the ground; old, withered, wrinkled at the end and they seem no further ahead than where they started. Some men or women have been on top of the world through no direct work of their own.

I get really tired of the socialization argument when talking about homeschooling. Anyone who has spoken directly to any one of my children for more than ten minutes realizes that there is absolutely no cause for concern.

The process of socialization could be described as follows:

“Socialization is the study of animal and human behavior (ethology, social psychology, and psychology) is the process by which human beings or animals learn to adopt the behavior patterns of the community in which they live. For both humans and animals, this typically occurs during the early stages of life, during which individuals develop the skills and knowledge necessary to function within their environment, insofar as interaction/coexistence with other members of their species or culture is concerned, but also includes adult individuals moving into an environment significantly different from one(s) in which they have previously lived and must thus learn a new set of behaviors.” source

What this often boils down to when we are talking about homeschooled children, is people want to know how will they learn things like getting along with others and standing in line. Those are just two examples in a never-ending stream.

I set out to find just what was considered “normal” social development in children and what kind of dangers are present. From the time a baby comes into the world their main source of everything is their parents, usually the mother. This is reinforced through masses of research that all say a child’s initial and most important source of aquiring social skills is from within the family.

Moms’ nurturing linked with less troubled young
Encouraging Social Skills in Young Children: Tips Teachers Can Share with Parents – cites many sources
Child care centers and socialization
Emotion socialization in families of children with an anxiety disorder

Gradually, parents draw away and let the child handle more social interactions on their own, following the examples they have already learned from parents, who continue to remain an influence. Research has show that children who frequently interact with their peers better adjust to being in an institution such as a school or daycare. Note this is directly opposite to what the cultural norm seems to believe, and that is that children learn to socialize when they get to school. In fact, they have already learned what do to – the rest is a testing ground and a place to pick up on new behaviours.

By the time middle school age has arrived, normal children start to pull away form their parent’s influence towards that of their peers. (source) This is seen as a natural and good thing. At some point, this influence is actually damaging if it grows to exclude the family altogether.

Peer Pressure
Peer Influence
Adolescents’ and Their Friends’ Health-Risk Behavior: Factors That Alter or Add to Peer Influence
Time spent playing with peers influences gender-typed behaviors in young children

Too much socialization with unwanted influences leads to undesireable social behaviour. This is a fact backed up by volumes of research. Below is just a few links to get started.

Research-based help for teens in jeopardy
Study reveals alcohol-abuse contributors
Teens’ risky behavior is about more than race and family resources

The “Cure” for Adolescent Drug Abuse: Worse than the Problem?

In all this, parental involment is the number one line of defense and prevention.

When I started to research this issue, I had a vague idea of what I believed to be true. The volumes of papers and articles I came across have all come to the same conclusions: parents are the single most important influence for children to learn social behaviours. Peers are secondary, and too much peer contact – which leads to peer influence – leads to a greater likelihood of undesireable and even harmful behaviours.

I was most disturbed to read in a great number of studies that, although the researchers concluded children were spending too much time together, they couldn’t figure out why.

The institutionalization of our children, when research and our own hearts tell us this is the worst thing we could do, is so ingrained that society at large thinks it is “normal”. Massive amounts of research continue to tell us differently.

When Education Becomes Abuse: A Different Look at the Mental Health of Children

Be “abnormal” and keep your kids at home – proudly.

Without getting into the longer discussion (as I am on my way out the door), the past few days I have been, like many others, wondering what was up with our favorite legal group and their (re?)issuing alerts about the UN and children’s rights.

Seems Val has figured it out. Membership drive! *smacks head* Wish I’d thought of it sooner. It makes perfect sense now.

Thanks Valerie for wading through all the articles for the benefit of the rest of us.

I had quite a busy day on Mother’s Day doing my best to make the most of the time I had at home and seeing to the day’s festivities in our own home. I so totally forgot to wish all of the Mom’s a Happy Mother’s Day.

Most of the homeschooling Mom’s I’ve met IRL and online are the best sort of moms to have. And in my opinion stand head and shoulder above in our society. So, here’s a moment where I belatedly tip my hat to you

(cross-posted from my regular blog)

You know, I’ve been putting off writing this for ages, as it is not a nice fluffy subject, but I felt that my blog audience should become aware as to what is going on in some circles. Sure, it is mostly in homeschooling circles and some would argue only affects a Christian audience, but I propose that this topic is actually important to ALL parents.

If talking about spanking and abuse is triggering for you, please go read something light and fluffy instead. I’ll be in a better humour tomorrow, I promise.

My sincerest apologies if reading onwards makes you feel sick.
[Read more...]

Last night and tonight I worked on widgetizing themes at homeschool journal. I might be doing that for most of this week.

Also, I’ve been adding to my spam blacklist. Almost feels like taking a weed wacker to a weed patch

Oh, and thanks for the birthday wishes. I wasn’t home with the family, but I still enjoyed my day.

In our northern climate, we always look forward to spring. This year it has come weeks ahead of its usual time. 2 weeks ago, I pruned back the rose bushes because they were budding already. Last year, the ground was still frozen, covered in ice and snow on the first of May. I hadn’t seen William and Mary before a friend shared some of hers a couple years ago. I didn’t know until the next spring, that it would be it rather than the narcissus, daffs, or tulips that we would see blossom first each year. We will see the blossoms of those in another week or 2. The second thing I like about William & Mary is that it is still blossoming when the frost hits in the fall. It makes a wonderful accent and ground cover for a shade garden. So, i thought I’d share our first proof of spring and warmer weather: